Mr G. Orwell
Beyond the Grave,
Uxbridge and South Ruislip,
1 July 2018
The President of the United States
The White House,
Dear Mr Trump,
It has recently come to my attention, that the greatest work of propaganda since the considerable efforts of the late Dr J. Goebels, that of the triumphant ‘leave’ campaign of 2016, is coming under heavy fire and appears to be suffering from a bout of collective cowardice.
Our present Mother, Teresa, God bless her, will be meeting with yourself, the President of the United States, in a matter of weeks. May I suggest that events seem to be conspiring to aid the cause of our sovereign England and that this is an ideal opportunity to propose a solution to our laborious Irish border/ Europe problem. Frankly, we should never have let the Irish leave like that, especially considering the usually hostile attitude they take on the issue of divorce in the first place!
Would it not be for the best, if Ireland, Scotland, Wales and England became the 51st, second, third and fourth States of the United States, respectively. Each nation would gain the sovereignty and international recognition that their egos desire, be prt of a common currency/trade bloc and we would all benefit from a common English language. Moreover, with the recent addition to the Windsor clan being an American and one that is distantly related to the German Chancellor, surely an acceptable accommodation with Angela is more accessible and indeed there is the possibility that Prince Harry and his new bride could occupy some official role across the Atlantic. Only appropriately, the new constitutional arrangement should be known to the United Nations as, The Royal United States of America.
I urge you, Mr President, to press Mrs May when you get her in a comfortable corner and convey this rather obvious solution to the vexing problems sprouting out of Brussels.
G. Orwell (deceased)